Tuesday, 19 June 2012


I've been having a crap morning.
I hate talking on the phone and I've been totally
freaking out over having to make a phone call
(but I did it after all) to speak about my referral
to the mental health unit because of my current
depression and my social phobia that just getting
worse and worse.
3 out of the 4 people I spoke to had accents that
I could hardly understand but I managed to get
that they are going to call me on Monday for an
evaluation over the phone. (?!?!)

The second thing was a rather obnoxious email
from my dad.
I've been trying to reach him for a month and I've
been quite desperate since we got back since I'm
in a bit of a pickle, all I get in return is "I'm not by
the computer everyday since my wife is having her
vacation now and today we're off to Ullared!"
(People only go to Ullared to buy cheap crap they
really don't need.)
Thanks a lot!

After crying out of frustration and a lot of hugs from
my man I managed to get myself together and plan
the day.

Because it's not all bad...
Here's why:

* Me and my man has been together for five and
a half year today.

* Mr. Postman came and turned my frown upside
down. The 1950's swimsuit/playsuit I won on eBay
the day before yesterday arrived and it's so cute!
The pattern looks like patchwork, a little like Sally
from Nightmare Before Christmas gone 50's pinup.

* After breakfast my man said we should make sure
we don't lose our tans so we went to the sunbed,
while I was waiting for him I went to my favorite
charity shop to have a little scout.
There it was - a coral Pyrex mixing bowl!

* I found something on Etsy that I've been wanting
for years and it had a quite reasonable price tag
so I asked my man if he could buy it for me for my
birthday and he was really surprised that I didn't
want anything else or something more expensive. :P 

1950's swimsuit/playsuit, £12.77.

Vintage Pyrex bowl, £2.

I've been struggling with depression since I was 10-11
years old and it's only in recent years I'm actually trying
to see things a bit more colorful, that it's not all black and
white and I always keep that in mind even if everything is
shit, if I didn't I wouldn't be here by now.


Mam-ma Lisa said...

I read a few blogs, yours being one of them. I love your finds and always think, lucky you finding that gem! Love the pyrex and the swimsuit, I remember my friend having a dress in the patchwork material at dancing class when I was about eleven. I have always suffered with feeling low, things get a bit of an effort. I don't write comments very often, I think its down to confidence, or lack of it. So I just thought I would say thanks for sharing your blog and many best wishes.

Temperamental Broad said...

Love the suit! Hopefully your day gets better.

Solveig said...

I'm so sorry your day started out as a shitty one. :( I know how hard it can be talking on the phone (I haven't talked to strangers on the phone for many years) but you can give yourself a pat on the back for mustering up the courage to do it! But ehh, they want to evaluate you over the phone? I hope it goes well. Just be honest with yourself and whoever you talk to about your feelings.

And again, the best finds! I don't understand how you do it, I can only imagine what a treasurechest your home must be by now. :)

Miss Tallulah Porkchop said...

Keep searching for a solution to your depression. I have been depressed since I was about four, my life turned around at 32 when I found the answer to my own depression after decades on antidepressants. I have been incident-free for six years. As soon as I started on the correct medication for me, I got a fabulous new job, a fabulous new house, bought a brand new car and a started a fabulous new relationship that I am still in and about 20 kilos just fell off me. Magic! In short it gave the me the confidence to move, grow, change and participate in life.

You are so lucky you have a fantastic and supportive partner.

The very best of luck. If you ever want to chat, drop me a line.

Big hugs.


Kitten said...

Hang in there! Hugs!

Dolly Cool Clare said...

Its great that you are seeking help - well done for making the first brave step. Also, remember that you have such a good support in Mark, and congratulations on your anniversary :)

Mim said...

I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough time and hope you are able to get some help.

La Dama said...

I'm sorry your going through this. Hope you can get all the help you deserve.
That bathing suit and pyrex bowl divine.
Congrats on your anniversary!

Miss Magpie said...

Asking for help is the hardest step. I'm not an expert, but I have been there. It is different for every person and different things work for different people. The important thing is to keep talking.